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Locking Lips; Why we Kiss and How To Make it Orgasmic

Image credit: The Kiss, Rodin Museum Paris photographed by Jamie Beck

“I will remember the kisses

our lips raw with love..." - Charles Bukowski

Our lips are one of the most sensitive parts of the body alongside our fingertips and the clitoris / head of a cock so it’s no wonder kissing can feel so good. But the pleasure goes beyond just the tactile sensation of locking lips with a lover. A passionate kiss can trigger the release of all the feel good hormones like dopamine, oxytocin and serotonin, giving your whole body that tingly euphoric feeling; as well as a sense of closeness to the other person. Kissing also reduces stress by lowering cortisol - making you feel generally more calm and at peace. Why? Well, there’s not a lot of research into why we kiss, with some theories attributing it to culture and others to biology (assessing potential genetic compatibility). One theory suggests it all comes from infancy. Our first experience of love, security and pleasure is closely linked to our lips from the way we feed as babies. From the minute we’re born, our brain learns to associate positive emotions with breast/bottle feeding, and when you think about it, the act of kissing rather mimics this behaviour - which is one explanation for why it can feel so good.

As for the high sensitivity of our lips, during infancy before we develop hand coordination, our lips and mouth are our primary tools for exploration. As we develop our gross and fine motor skills, we start to use our hands for exploring objects and the world around us, relying less on our lips (which for obvious reasons is a good thing).

But, we never lose the ability to explore with our lips, and reconnecting to the inherent curiosity of this part of our body can be incredibly hot in an intimate setting.

So the next time you go in for an intimate exchange with your lover, bring some awareness to your lips. Notice the pleasure you feel directly on your lips as they press against your lover, before sending your awareness into your body to feel the pleasure rising. Allow your lips to explore their whole body.

And when you’re finally ready to lock lips, here are some tips for making it ecstatic:

Lingering lips

Before going straight in for the kiss, move in slowly and let your lips linger a little, maybe they brush ever so slightly as you hold your lips in front of your lover’s for a few breaths. Soak up each other’s scent. Allow the anticipation, temptation and desire to build.

Alternate between top and bottom lips

Our top and bottom lips experience different levels of sensation (research shows the bottom lip is more sensitive than the top) so alternate between kissing and gently sucking each other's top and bottom lip. Let your lips explore each other’s, swapping from one to the other.

Soft tongue

No-one likes a stiff, rigid tongue forcing its way into their mouth. Let your tongue be soft with fluid movement. As you find a rhythm and flow with your lover, you can explore more dynamic movements and a faster pace.

Make it wet, but not too wet

A bit of wetness is most certainly hot, but not so wet that you're swimming in each other's mouths. You just want enough saliva so your lips feel silky and can sensually glide over each other. Alternate between tongue time and just kissing on the lips to control the juiciness.

Remember to breathe

When your bodies are so close, the breath organically starts to flow in a synchronised rhythm with each other. Let this rhythm guide the pace and intensity of the kiss. The breath also helps to circulate the energy being created within you, around the entire body, giving your full body that erotic charge.

Move to the rhythm

Invite your whole body to move with the rhythm of the kiss. Allow your hands to explore each other - run your fingers through their hair, and gently stroke their face, ears, neck, chest or below the belt..When in the moment of a passionate kiss, we rely on body language to guide us toward less or more intensity. Let your bodies speak to each other through movement and sound.

Be present

The technique of giving a good kiss is one thing, but a mind-blowing kiss only happens in complete presence. Being present allows you to respond intuitively to the moment rather than over-thinking it, ultimately bringing more confidence, flow and rapture to the kiss.


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